5 Scenarios That Scare me to Death
__________________________________________________________________________In honor of Day of the Dead today, and Halloween this past weekend, and with the days getting darker earlier with the return of Daylight Savings Time, it’s the perfect time to take a look at five scenarios in sports that absolutely scare me to death.
1. A Broncos/Saints Superbowl. The Saints and Broncos are definitely ‘for real’ and have been rolling along in their respective conferences despite a Broncos blowout loss to The desperate Ravens, but come on. What kind of anticlimactic Phillies/Rays shit would this be? Sure The Saints are exciting to watch and Drew Brees is the second coming of Dan Fouts, but Drew Brees is only a star to NFL guy, not to mention casual sports fans (all of whom plan on watching The Superbowl) don’t even know who starts at quarterback for The Denver Broncos (Isn’t it Jake Plummer?). In a year that has seen the return of perhaps the two biggest stars in NFL and sports history, Tom Brady and Brett Favre, and with the possibility of Favre playing the Packers for a third time should The Packers and Vikes meet in The playoffs, (Fox Sports’ Wet dream come true) The Saints going all the way to play The Broncos in Superbowl 44 would be The NFL’s version of an M. Night Shyamalan movie: Good enough to keep you interested right up until The shitty ending.
Is THIS man Superbowl material? Let's hope not.
2. Iowa Running the Table. We are a Texas loss away from the very real possibility of seeing Iowa in The National Championship game. The loser of The SEC title game will have no chance at The BCS title, and although Texas has not blinked all season, Iowa’s pretend win-streak hasput them in a great position to steal a spot in the big dance come January. Throw out all the reasonable statistics about their weak schedule, nobody wants to see a slow, blowout-prone Big 10 team get sandblasted in a big game. Again. We’ve seen the movie before and M. Night Shyamalan movies have more entertaining endings.
3. Manny Pacquiao losing to Miguel Cotto on Nov. 14. Floyd Mayweather held up his end of the bargain, now the best pound for pound fighter in the world needs to continue his tear across the welterweight division in order to set up the showdown that will keep boxing relevant for at least one more fight. Miguel Cotto is an extremely talented fighter with only 1 loss on his record, and is a perfect candidate to pull a 2008 Orlando Magic and ruin a dream matchup.
4. Baseball going another year without Instant replay. Hasn’t baseball learned that ignoring a potentially PR-killing problem for too long produces unfavorable results? If The Baseball powers that be continue to ignore the fact that bad calls in big games can and will lead to impending doom, one of these days a non-reviewed bad call could cause an ensuing media disaster messier than an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
5. Brett Favre winning The Superbowl. Everybody seems to think that Favre’s victory over The Pakcers was the final chapter in the Brett Favre vs. The Packers saga. It wasn’t. There’s still the possibility of The Vikings (who are loaded on every side of the ball) winning The Superbowl. This could be the bitter ending (bitter if you’re a Packers fan of course) to this long drawn out saga especially if Favre plays and beats The Packers in the playoffs to get there (assuming Rodgers can stay propped upright long enough to attempt to get The Pack there). This wouldn’t be a happy ending. It would be a testament to the flawed logic that one player indeed is more important than the future of the team, and responsible business decisions are to be scrapped in favor of indecisive and emotionally unstable individuals. The Vikings winning The Superbowl with Brett Favre riding into the sunset on a purple horse would be an ending that even M. Night Shyamalan would think is friggin’ stupid.
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Tags: 2008 Orlando Magic, Denver Broncos, Favre vs. Packers, New Orleans Saints, Pacquiao vs. Cotto Nov. 14, Superbowl 44
