NFL SpreadSHREDDER, Week 14: Battle of the Embattled
__________________________________________________________________________SpreadSHREDDER Week 13 ATS: 0-3
SpreadSHREDDER Overall ATS: 21-19-1
SpreadSHREDDER Overall vs. The Total: 2-1-1
With The SpreadSHREDDER going belly up for the first time in history, and after a 1-3 week last week, we have now been presented with the opportunity to shred some adversity as well as the week 14 spreads. So let’s go.
Dallas (-3) over San Diego
That’s right. December may be where ‘Cowboys go to Die’, but if that does happen we expect The Cowboys to shrivel up and die a slow, painful death that sends Cowboy nation into its annual frenzy. We don’t know whether or not The Cowboys will perform their perennial playoff tailspin, and we don’t care. All we care about is the fact that they will be playing San Diego at home as The Chargers travel across 2 time zones to play their 3rd road game in 4 weeks against their former defensive coordinator and offensive line coach Wade Phillips and Hudson Houk, respectively.
The Cowboys don't want to look at records of their well-documented struggles in December.
Don’t buy the ‘Destruction in December’ negativity that seems to swallow The Dallas airways and media outlets….yet. The Cowboys will inspire hope. DALLAS 34-24.
Houston (-6.5) over Seattle
The Houston Texans’ slim playoff hopes rests upon them getting a much needed victory against a currently overvalued Seattle Seahawks team. Seattle will be traveling across the country, playing against a negative body clock, and if that’s not enough to screw them over, they will be playing against their former defensive coordinator Ray Rhodes who currently serves as The D.C. in Houston.
The Houston Texans will have no problems filling the void left by Steve Slaton’s season-ending injury as they have a capable runningback-by-committee staff. Houston’s top 5 passing game should also overwhelm Seattle’s 25th ranked pass defense as The Seattle Seahawks come down to earth a bit. HOUSTON, 27-13.
San Francisco (+3.5) over Arizona
The last time we saw The Arizona Cardinals, they were beating The Mighty Vikings’ brains in on national television. Good. Now, for the third year in a row, we will witness the annual token NFC West matchup designed to keep The ‘Eastcoast Bias’ Conspiracy Theorists at bay, while trying its best to keep America awake. The Arizona Cardinals will be playing their 6th road game in 9 weeks, in the midst of a schedule that sees no continuity in terms of kickoff time, against a division rival.
Despite being ranked 20th in total defense, San Francisco’s pressure 3-4 defense has proven to be problematic for Kurt Warner and The Cardinal’s offense, and they will now have to deal with San Fran on a slower grass field. The 49ers have been fantastic against the spread this season, and they are no strangers to cashing as underdogs as they have done so all year long.
Kurt Warner will have trouble finding a consistent rhythm with his talented receiving corps, and that lack of timing and rhythm will force him to make bad decisions that should create turnover opportunities for a competitive 49ers team. SAN FRANCISCO, 21-20.
[SpreadSHREDDER Point Spreads and wagering totals brought to you by Sportsbook.com by way of Vegasinsider.com. Lines and totals subject to change.]
Three Women died and went to heaven. Upon their arrival, St. Peter asked the first woman if she had been faithful to her husband. The woman admitted to two affairs during her marriage. St. Peter told her that she could receive only a compact car to drive in heaven.
Then St. Peter asked the second woman if she had been faithful to her husband, and the woman admitted to one affair. St. peter told her she would be given a midsize car to drive.
The third woman, Elin Nordegren (Tiger Woods’ wife), was asked about her faithfulness, and she told St. Peter she had been true to her husband until the ay she died. St. Peter praised her and gave her a luxury car.
A week later, the three women were driving around, and they all stopped at a red light. The women in the compact and midsize car turned to see the woman in the luxury car crying. They asked her what could possibly be the matter-after all, she was driving a luxury car.
“I just passed Tiger,” she told them, “and he was on a skateboard!”
[Inspired by The Friar's Club Encyclopedia of Jokes]
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Tags: Cardinals vs 49ers Monday Night Football, Chargers vs. Cowboys, NFL betting lines, NFL picks against The Spread, NFL SpreadSHREDDER, NFL Week 14 2009, Seahawks vs. Texans
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[...] Battle of The Embattled: As Norv travels to take on Wade, we like The Cowboys (see SpreadSHREDDER). It shuold also be noted that, moving forward, we like both of these teams to make the playoffs [...]