The Gorilla Press: Bret Hart Returns, Slammy Awards, and Our TNA Final Resolution Preview
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Sunday, December 20, 2009
THE SHEET
Bret Hart Reportedly signs with WWE [PW Torch]
TNA to air Monday Night Impact on a quarterly basis [Multichannel News]
Khali’s mother-in-law arrested [Hindustan Times]
Hogan’s TNA PPV debut advertised [Prowrestling.net]
GORILLA CLIP OF THE WEEK
In 2005, Shawn Michaels cut one of the finest promos of his career (and that’s saying a lot) as he made his return to the scene of the crime in Montreal to heel out on a hot Montreal crowd. What’s particularly interesting about this promo in hindsight, is what Shawn says at the 8:21 mark that everybody seemed to accept as fact. Until now.
SHOWSTOPPER
HIGH SPOTS
FROM RAW
Sheamus as an appetizer. For all the talk of Sheamus being ‘shoved down our throats’, we saw Sheamus for about a segment and a half this past Monday night amidst 3 HHH promos, 2 John Cena matches, and yet another John Cena promo. The WWE is very aware of the sensitivity of having a brand new face at the top of the WWE for the first time all year, and they seem to be doing a very good job of making this angle about John Cena’s shortcomings while slowly elevating Sheamus as a top heel.
He’ll be back, they ALWAYS come back! As I was taking my 4th nap during this 17 hour telecast (which Dennis Miller joked about but I would have believed it), I was delighted to hear a tease of the return of Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. Vince McMahon has said time after time that TNA is not on his radar as they aren’t considered legitimate competition. Don’t believe it. With reports of the WWE clamoring to bring the Rock and Stone Cold on for their January 4th show upon hearing news of TNA’s 3 hour special set for that night, and now with with the return of Bret Hart to coincide with Monday Night War II, the WWE is in fact ‘going to war.’
The WWE is already losing fanst to the UFC, and with the threat of TNA permanently moving to Monday nights they will do everything in their power to ensure that TNA doesn’t stand a chance.
FROM SMACKDOWN!
Batista vs. Rey. This was a very good match with a good story that helped add steam to a sub-feud that I thought was dead in the water. Rey Mysterio Jr. is the king of the David vs. Goliath match, and he won yet another one of these exciting contests this past Friday with the fans urging him on. Although I did find it funny that Mysterio, who is notorious for sucking up to the fans by adorning himself in gear with colors similar to a host city’s favorite sports team, was wearing black and gold (New Orleans Saints colors) in Texas the night before The Saints were set to play the Dallas Cowboys.
The Hart Dynasty: Ready for Prime time? It’s good to see the Hart Dynasty getting their shot, although this may be a product of the lack of depth in the tag team division, and the timing of this push is awful curios in light of the announcement of the return of Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. In any event, this is a talented young team that will need more time on the mic so that the crowd can really hate them. Here’s a question: With rumors of a stipulation in Bret Hart’s contract barring him and Michaels from appearing on camera together, how are they going to work this into a DX/Hart Dynasty storyline should Hart become involved with his family members in the Hart Dynasty?
FROM iMPACT!
Daniels vs. Wolfe. This was a fantastic match between two guys who are no strangers to tearing a house down. TNA seems to be comfortable with these time limit draw finishes, however they are not that bad of an idea as they have occurred the week before both principles were set to compete in high-profile pay-per-view matches and needed to be protected to some degree. I’ve never seen a finish that ended in a draw as both guys rolled around in a small package. Brilliant.
Jay Lethal vs. Tatanka. No, seriously! Sure this whole ‘Jay Lethal jobs to the hasbeens’ angle is ridiculous, but we’re going to have to live with it for the foreseeable future and Tatanka looked good in this one.
LOW SPOTS
FROM RAW
The 746 Slammy Awards given out. The Slammy’s have ‘evolved’ into a tool to award mostly to new superstars (mostly heels) to help get them over in addition to getting you the consumer to care about particular superstars. The WWE defeats this purpose by giving out so many Slammy’s for so many different categories over a 3 hour period of time (and change!). The Slammy’s need to to be at least cut in half in order to have added value because I lost count halfway through the show.
Vince Snaps on The Crowd. You book Dennis Miller, who is about as pro wrestling as George Burns, and hold the crowd hostile to a 3 hour snoozefest, complete with shotgunned 3 minute matches and overdone promos, and then get mad at the crowd when they’re not feeling it? Vince McMahon’s min-shoot tirade on the crowd, as he called them out for being the worst crowd ever, was funny yet kind of sad. Hopefully McMahon learned a lesson the hard way after WWE creative booked a show that seemed to drag on the entire night.
Short Matches. Every match seemed to be rushed on this card (except for Cena vs. Punk where I wouldn’t be surprised if they had planned for Punk to job to Cena in 1 minute all along). It was as if they wanted to get as many superstars on television as possible whether or not they had a specific plan for what they were going to do. The Divas match featured, what, 10 Divas? Only two or three of them worked a match. In their evening gowns! This was a similar case in the match that featured Yoshi Tatsu going over Zach Ryder as most of the participants in this match were not featured.
Using Batista for Comedy. Of all the superstars you could have put in a pink polo with the collar popped up to Kanye West the shit out of Maria (Santino, The Miz, Zach Ryder even), The WWE Creative team felt it would be fitting for the monster heel Batista to roll up looking like a metrosexual frat boy. This was actually mildly entertaining, but Batista had no business in this spot.
FROM SMACKDOWN!
Shotgunned Tag-Teams. I understand that there is a depth problem in the tag-team division, but Jimmy Wang Yang and Slam Master J? The WWE has done a good job in recent months of putting an emphasis back on the tag team division, however they will need to begin building legitimate tag teams if they want to keep the emphasis on the tag team division.
Jericho stuck with The Great Khali. They kept this one short, as they usually do with Khali, but Smackdown! has got to find something more intriguing for Jericho to do now that he is no longer with The Big Show. The Great Khali’s return was about as memorable as The Bastion Booger gimmick.
FROM iMPACT!
Storylines, Storylines, and more storylines. With so many characters coming out of the woodwork (including Lou Ferrigno who played The Incredible Hulk) it’s literally as if TNA was trying to do their best impression of Spiderman 3. Jeff Jarrett seems to be starting a feud with Kurt Angle who will be feuding with Desmond Wolfe, meanwhile Mick Foley is out in Los Angeles in another floundering segment with Lou Ferrigno as he searches for Hulk Hogan.
TNA picked the wrong night to force so many storylines down the consumer’s throat as they seemed to do it at the expense of their pay-per-view build.
Roxxi Returns, but do we care? TNA really needs to work on the art of the return. First Tomko, now this? How are we supposed to get behind a character if their return is a quick ‘what have you been up to?’ interview with Lauren?
TIP THE HOST
Each week, we will give the RAW guest host a tip (from $1-$10) based on their performance.
Dennis Miller was a bad choice for a guest host on paper and an his performance played out even worse on live television. Within the first 5 minutes of the telecast he dropped ‘incontinent’ and ‘bitterly sarcastic repartee’. Dennis Miller’s vocabulary is far over the head of your average pro wrestling fan (no offense) and he was not the right choice for a guest host to keep such a long, drawn out telecast interesting. We leave Dennis with a $4.50 tip.
THE SHOOT
More on Bret Hart’s Return. Hart has reportedly signed a deal to return to The WWE on a short term basis. While the contract is set to expire less than a month after Wrestlemania, the general feeling seems to be that this is just Bret Hart ‘testing the waters’ before he looks to jump into anything long term. The original plays for The RAW guest hosting gimmick was for the gimmick to last through Wrestlemania with no immediate plans afterwards. Bret Hart may be an obvious choice for an authoritative figure (i.e. GM) once The WWE does away with the weekly guest hosts on RAW.
Bret Hart has reportedly signed a deal to return to The WWE
With Bret Hart returning and even rumored to work a match, it is never too early to speculate whether or not the WWE should invest in a Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels feud of some sort. Yeah, yeah, Bret and Shawn will probably be kept apart during Bret’s 2nd stint with The WWE, but I don’t want to hear that. Like every pro wrestling fan, I was of the belief that we would never see Bret Hart in a WWE ring ever again, so now that he is back ANYTHING is possible. You’re telling me that the business-first Vince McMahon won’t at least pitch an idea for some sort of Shawn/Bret feud just to see how Bret feels about it? There’s money in Shawn vs. Bret, even in 2009, and where there’s money Vince McMahon is never too far behind.
FINISHERS
We leave you with a preview of the TNA Final Resolution Pay-Per-View tonight in Orlando, FL.
TNA Final Resolution emanates from Orlando, Florida tonight.
Feast of Fired Match
Quick Breakdown: I find it hard to keep track of this match each year but TNA is still sticking with this concept. Expect one or both of the members of Beer Money Inc. to win a briefcase as the story behind this match seems to be the beginning of the end of the accomplished tag team. Oh yeah, and Samoa Joe is in this match.
Prediction: Robert Roode gets a World title shot.
ODB vs. Tara
Quick Breakdown: The buildup to this match has been suspect, but these two should put on a good show in a straight up one-on-one match.
Prediction: Tara by pinfall
The British Invasion vs. The Motor City Machineguns
Quick Breakdown: These teams seem to have great chemistry in the ring based on past matches where they’ve been pitted against one another in some capacity. I look for this match to be a ‘steal the show’ candidate. The Motor City Mahcineguns are featured on the promo poster for Final Resolution, which may or may not mean anything, but I think The British Invasion still needs time with the belts.
Prediction: The British Invasion by pinfall.
Team 3D, Rhino, & Jesse Neal vs. Matt Morgan, D’Angelo Dinero, Hernandez & Suicide
Quick Breakdown: This is perhaps the worst thing going on iMPACT! as the many variations of this feud features the de-emphasis of Hernandez or Matt Morgan who are supposed to be the key torchbearers of TNA’s ‘next generation’ of superstars. I like what they’ve done with Jesse Neal, but I still have no clue what Matt Morgan or Hernandez are doing in the middle (or at the bottom) of this feud.
Prediction: Hernandez takes a pinfall from Jesse Neal after Suicide causes problems with the babyface team.
Desomond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle
Quick Breakdown: This should be the best match on the card. TNA has done a great job of bringing in Desmond Wolfe and making him matter and this could very well be his coming out party.
Prediction: Wolfe, 2 falls to 1.
Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley
Quick Breakdown: Steiner has been getting the better of Lashley for the most part on the iMPACT taping, and his lust for Lashley’s will most likely die with a loss in such a grueling gimmick match.
Prediction: Lashley wins.
Raven and Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss and Mick Foley
Quick Breakdown: I almost forgot that Mick Foley also wrestled after seeing him in so many non-wrestling capacities throughout the week. So much so that I don’t really care about this match and neither do you.
Prediction: Mick Foley and Abyss by pinfall.
AJ Styles vs. Daniels
Quick Breakdown: This feud has gotten significant attention, with the exception of this week’s iMPACT!, and anything less than a great match between these two will be a severe disappointment.
Prediction: Styles by pinfall.
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Tags: Bret Hart Returns, Bret Hart Signs with WWE, Pro wrestling blog, The Gorilla Press, TNA, TNA Final Resolution Preview, TNA News, Wrestling News, WWE, WWE News
