Paul Shirley’s Very Own Quoterack
__________________________________________________________________________We cap off the week by making use of a closet headline that has swept the blogosphere by storm.
Earlier this week, former NBA scrub Paul Shirley channeled his inner Bubba the Love Sponge and posted an ill-advised and career ending essay on why he could give a shit about the situation in Haiti. Shirley’s opinion was subsequently castrated by The Network as they threw him out of their moving bandwagon and never looked back. Now Shirley must always look over his shoulder for Awesome Kong, who’s never too busy to beat the living hell out of those who are not down with Haiti. 
For this Quoterack, we intend to break down key moments of this anti-Haiti publication as you will get a quote-by-quote view of the (second) degeneration of the career of one Paul Shirley.
“I do not know if what I’m about to write makes me a monster. I do know that it makes me a part of a miniscule minority, if Internet trends and news stories of the past weeks are any guide.”
-Shirley, just moments before committing journalistic suicide.
“I don’t think the guy with the sign that reads “Need You’re Help” is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don’t think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either.”
-Paul Shirley, making a direct and misguided comparison of Haiti to ‘homeless guy with a sign’.
“Very few have said, written, or even intimated the slightest admonishment of Haiti, the country, for putting itself into a position where so many would be killed by an earthquake.”
-Shirley, thinking that America was too smart to send act humanely to help a those in need, regardless of their circumstances, and ignoring many components that go into relief efforts.
“We did the same after Hurricane Katrina. We were quick to vilify humans who were too slow to respond to the needs of victims, forgetting that the victims had built and maintained a major city below sea level in a known target zone for hurricanes.”
-Shirley, submitting we should have really just let the people of New Orleans float around for a bit longer until we made them promise that they were ‘never going to get hurricaned again.’
“First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.”
-Shirley’s infamous quip about Haiti’s poverty with a cheapshot to boot. How could anybody question the fact that he has positive questions after such a classy remark.
“I can tell, based on my own reaction to that last sentence, that it might strike a nerve.”
-Shirley realizing his literary poo logs may ‘strike a nerve.’ Apparently they did. That nerve had a name. ESPN. Oops.
“When I was young, the great humanitarian crisis facing our world – as portrayed by the media, anyway – was the starving masses in Africa. The solution found, of course, was to send bag after bag of food to those people, forgetting the long-understood maxim that giving more food to poor people allows them to create more poor people.”
-Shirley’s flawed rendition of ‘give a man to fish…teach a man to fish’.
“In writing a column about the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake, it was not my intent to suggest that I don’t care about the fate of Haiti, or that I am not sympathetic to the people who make up the huge numbers and heartbreaking images we see flashed across our television and computer screens.”
-Shirley in a last ditch effort to cover his ass. He’s not actually going to post this crap is he?
“I’m disappointed that some outlets chose to extract segments of my column, framing my opinions in their own.”
-Shirley’s reaction to the art of the internet.
“While I will not apologize for writing my column, I do accept the repercussions associated with writing it and hope that some good may come out of those repercussions”
-Shirely on his repercussions for his now-infamous post. Agreed. Good repercussions have come from this post. Like your ass getting shitcanned.
***
Paul Shirley’s opinion is not new or innovative and could be seen as an understandable sentiment of many frustrated Americans who do not understand why America must act as The World Police especially in situations where disasters were not only inevitable but bound to repeat themselves.
However it’s never what you say, but when you say it. How you say it. Who you’re saying it about. Paul Shirley came off as an abject monster who was almost asking why a country had to be so poor. The issues in Haiti are deeper than The Haitian people just being a bunch of poor, earthquake-prone, sitting ducks who need to get out of dodge. Paul Shirley should have dug a bit deeper before firing up whatever laptop acted as an accomplice in his demise, but growing up blessed with athletic ability and the right to flounder at the professional level has a tendency to breed blind elitism.
This post was a good indication of why Shirley’s professional career didn’t pan out the way he would have liked. Shirley’s timing was off (way off), he weren’t seeing the entire picture, and his defense (that reaction piece) flat out sucked. Congratulations on being in The Quoterack, however. Maybe you’ll find someone willing to ‘give’ you a second chance at a journalistic career on the mainstream level, but they probably wouldn’t want to create more jackass NBA castoffs with an opinion only Don Imus could love, because that disaster you just created would just be bound to repeat itself.
Signed,
The Rest of the Big Nasty Athletic Dept.
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Tags: Isn't Paul Shirley a Beatle?, NBA, Paul Shirley, Paul Shirley Fired, Paul Shirley Haiti blog, Quoterack
