Big Nasty’s WWE NXT Power Rankings WWE
__________________________________________________________________________With WWE NXT making its much anticipated debut last night, The Big Nasty Athletic Dept. will come out with power rankings the day after each show as we rank each showcased wrestler based on their weekly performance.
1. Daniel Bryan- And get used to calling him Daniel Bryan you fucking internet nerds. He is property of Vince McMahon and if McMahon wants to tie him to a turnbuckle and put some more welts on his back like a white Kunta Kinte, well then so be it! (Contributing Author: Michael Cole)
Bryan had a nice debut, and the personification of the dork cesspool that is The Internet Wrestling Community was the obvious focal point of this week’s show. His match with Jericho, while not the 5-star match it could be (and one day may be), was above average for a short TV match and did a good job of showcasing the American Dragon’s endless skillset.
2. Heath Slater- Slater has that magic word that The WWE made sure to stuff into your sack last night: Charisma. The team of Christian Slater put on an average match, at best, that didn’t do too many favors for either rookie, but Slater still looked good in his effort to hang with the big boys. With a little more polish, Slater could be the most exciting redhead to win his way into WWE lure by popular vote since Christy Hemme. And TNA would likely be more than happy to scoop his ass off the road (like they did with Christy) if The WWE decides to blindfold him and shove him out of their moving vehicle with their foot (like THEY did with Christy).
3. Wade Barrett- We were hesitant to put Barrett into this category due to the fact that he didn’t work a match last night, but he exuded enough charisma and mic skills (his voice is like velvet and peanut butter!) to make Vince build him up while on a sudden rush of A.D.D. booking. The guy has ‘the look’ and his pairing with Jericho will do his career wonders. Right, Big Show? Right. 
4. David Otunga- Vince’s team of brainwashing brainstormers may need to go back to the drawing board on this one. While Otunga has everything on paper to be the next Batista, or Blacktista, the guy is as green as the cash his wife puts in his bank account at the beginning of every month. Otunga will be one of the obvious company choices of talent who The WWE has a vested interest in due to his size and mainstream appeal, but his attempt at a squash match with black Donald Trump didn’t do him very many favors. That standing spinebuster was just awful, although Otunga had the line of the night when he dropped something along the lines of ‘Come on, man, google me!’
5. Michael Tarver- The WWE may have a diamond in the rough with this guy as we hinted towards in our scouting report of the knockout specialist. Perhaps he was the only rookie to be pinned by a pro on the show because Vince wanted to remind the world that ‘I RUN THIS SHIT! THIS IS PRO WRESTLING!!! YOU WANNA KNOCK SOMEBODY OUT?!! YOU GET YOU ASS IN AN OCTAGON!! In a FUCKING OCTAGON!!!!’
6. Darren Young- Didn’t see enough from Young to get a good guage of his talent, but that borderline blackface spray tan on such a large frame give him a unique look, and his interactions with the indifferent CM Punk should be a lot of fun to watch.
Justing Gabriel and Skip Sheffield (two potential favorites) did not compete in last night’s festivities, and therefore were not included in the power rankings.
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Tags: Because MMA is almost as inferior as internet wrestling, NXT Power Rankings, Wrestling News, WWE News
