Evenings with Jim: Flight Slobberknocker Takes Us Through The Colorless Skies of Nostalgia
__________________________________________________________________________MMA, Wrestling News |
Jim Ross sure does miss the good ole days. In this week’s expose’ Jim Ross slowly drifts into his own world of nostalgic, and borderline hallucinogenic, reminiscence as he waxes poetic about wrestling in its purest form. All while teasing a possible Wrestlemania 26 return date.
It was great seeing so many of my friends from the WWE world Monday at the Ford Center. It is always good to catch up with long time acquaintances and how they and their families are doing.
Things got awkward after Jim Ross asked where Shane McMahon was.
If I was asked once, I was asked a 100 times, “When are you coming back?”
To which Jim responded ‘RIGHT NOW…’
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I don’t have the exact answer to that question but my standard and honest response remains the same and that is that my goal is and always has been to return to WWE at Wrestlemania 26. If all the necessary arrangements can be made from a business perspective then that goal will hopefully become a reality.
Of course by ‘all the necessary arrangements’, Jim Ross is referring to the independent contractors (the real independent contractors, not wrestlers) who he hired to make a new bad ass table to be place right in front of the ingrate announce team that RAW currently boasts when they least expect it. The more things change…
Bret Hart and I had a long conversation Monday of which I enjoyed immensely. Bret is one of the all time greats, a WWE HOF’er, and has battled thru amazing adversity in overcoming a serious stroke to get to where he is today. Bret, as we discussed, will never be “100%” but his heart and spirit are strong and he will no doubt do all he physically and mentally can to provide the fans their monies worth at WM26 versus Mr. McMahon.
Let’s not give all the credit to Bret Hart. Let’s not forget the fact that Bret Hart, a recovering stroke victim, is in good hands. Vince McMahon has wrestled women, the handicapped, midgets, and Ric Flair. He’ll have no problem trying his damnedest not to embarrass himself in his latest morally questionable endeavor.
Bret and I even talked casually about doing some appearances together, perhaps even some Q&A’s, if all the details could be arranged.
Q: Can one of you two loan me one of your handicapped parking passes? Parking outside The University of Phoenix Stadium is going to be a bitch.
Shawn Michaels and I talked at length Monday about a variety of topics including the Mid South days in OKC when the wrestlers used to wrestle at the Myriad, still across the street from the Ford Center and renamed, every other Sunday at 2 p.m. and then they would drive the 100 miles to Tulsa via the Turner Turnpike to tape two, one hour Mid South Wrestling TV shows beginning at 7 p.m.
The year was 1970 and wrestling was just that. Wrestling. The territories were decorated with WRESTLERS who dawned black trunks and two-toned boots. Headlocks were king, suplexes were innovative, and entertainment was at a premium. This was wrestling. You want entertainment? Go grab some lotion and a Linda Lovelace centerfold.
Shawn is another extraordinary athlete and a man who I respect so much and who has maintained his amazingly high level of performances inside the ring even though he’s north of 40. It’s hard to name many men ever who have been better in the ring in any era and especially in a big match environment that HBK. I sure can’t.
[INCOMING TEXT FROM BRET HART] What happened to all that talk about us making appearances together? Does that mean nothing now? Now you’re all up in Shawn’s jock? I thought you were on MY side! My career is rivaled by NOBODY! Canadian or American! You should be ashamed of yourself, Jim! I’d expect this bullshit out of Michael Cole, but you?!
If fans don’t invest in WM26 to see Undertaker vs. Michaels 2, one has to wonder why. As mentioned earlier, I hope to be in Arizona to witness WM26 live but I wouldn’t miss the event on PPV for any thing.
Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker have worked a total of 4 matches together in The WWF/WWE and you were there to call all of them. You’re slipping, Jim. Keep it together and if your memory starts to fail you, stay off of your blog long enough to trick the higher ups into thinking that you’ll be all systems go for Wrestlemania because, personally, a senile and defiantly hallucinogenic Jim Ross is better than Michael Cole at his fluke best.
The Mrs and I had lunch with Jerry Lawler on Monday at our place in Norman. For the record the King had the Slobber Knocker combo which is a three meat platter with two sides. My pal had ribs, sliced brisket and pulled pork for the record….and fried okra and our homemade mac and cheese. Plus, a fried, chocolate pie ala mode.
Things got awkward when Jerry didn’t finish his meal and refused a doggy bag. Stay divorced, prick.
Edge also dropped by late Monday afternoon for our groceries. He text me that he was “packed” as he continued his drive up I-35 to Wichita For Tuesday night’s WWE taping.
Somewhere in this phrase there is a reference to recreational drug use. I just can’t quite pinpoint it.
Sources also saw Dolph Ziggler dining at J.R.’s Monday afternoon.
Scratch that. It was Billy Gunn.
We appreciate the WWE stars joining us and being cordial to all the fans and guests of our joint.
So you’re saying Randy Orton has never been to your restaurant?
Nice to see the double tough, legit badass Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. The second Montreal native to be enshrined, Pat Patterson being the first, was a great amateur in the late 40′s and is widely regarded as one man that even the tough wrestlers never wanted to cross. Bill Watts has told me of some classic, bar fight stories involving Mad Dog battling frisky patrons in the AWA that always had the same results and they were not positive for the civilians.
The year was 1940. The depression era was beginning to ween down, yet Americans still needed something and someone to believe in again. With their once undying faith in mankind continuing to erode, Americans turned to the squared circle to reinvigorate their love for life and all its offerings.
Enter Mad dog Vachon. A man who would earn the nickname when he was intentionally given rabies as part of a social experiment and turned loose on unsuspecting fellow wrestlers. Mad dog wasn’t the word to describe this man. He was a fucking rabid pitbull. His look. His feel. His smell (he often shit himself before matches) gave Americans reasons to believe that they were better than someone, and could look down on their entertainment for a change. A term that later evolved into the term ‘guilty pleasure’.
Mad Dog once opened the airplane door in flight on an AWA flight from, as I recall, from Minneapolis to Denver unbeknown and shockingly to the other wrestlers who were traveling on the small, private aircraft. Tragedy was averted.
Mad Dog joins the likes of The Iron Shiek as the only WWE Hall of Famers under the suspicion of terrorism.
Mad Dog was wild and fearless especially when imbibing in an adult beverage.
I heard he used to drink vodka from a metal dish with his name on it.
Plus, Mad Dog’s distinctive promo skills were money and are still vivid in the minds of many fans who grew up watching “The Dog” in the American Wrestling Association (AWA).
Somebody in TNA is currently getting plans together for a Dog bone on a pole match between Mad Dog Vachon and Rick Steiner. If Steiner wins, he gets Vachons WWE Hall of Fame ring and all of its magical powers. Woof.
No Fedor on CBS’s Strikeforce show in April is a tough break for the organization and the network. Fedor is Strikeforce’s biggest star at this time which speaks to the fact that the promotion needs and is endeavoring to develop more box office stars that are TV friendly.
I know! What a bunch of frigign idiots! What are they going to do for ratings? Throw Shields and Henderson in the main event? THAT aint gonna work!
I do think that Jake Shields vs. Dan Henderson will be a good main event and the two athletes should have a physical, entertaining fight.
Ooooooh…This is awkward…
Read where Jose Canseco is looking to dip his toe in MMA waters again and is suggesting that he fight Herschel Walker. There is no doubt that this fight wouldn’t garner plenty of publicity but I can’t see much of it being positive publicity.
Using old stars to suddenly pump life into a pay-per-view buyrate and ratings? Strikeforce to UFC really is like TNA to WWE!
I do agree that many would tune in to see Herschel kick Jose’s ass. Jose Canseco in a legit MMA fight is reminiscent of back in the day went some old school pro wrestling promoters would book the wrestling bear once a year. It’s a pure, gimmick/freak show attraction. I guess Canseco needs a payday and is willing to get physically beaten for the cash.
Stop beating around the Bush and tell us who you think would win already, Jim!
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Tags: Evenings With Jim, Jim Ross Blog, Wrestling News, WWE News
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