How Many Movies Were Made About YOUR Coach?
__________________________________________________________________________Earlier today, I (Big Nasty, degenerate Packer fan) received the brilliant news that Robert De Niro would be playing legendary Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi in an upcoming movie about his incomparable career and the rise of MY Green Bay Packers of the 1960′s. In order to celebrate what has gone on to be one of the greatest days of my life, I have decided to compile a list of what stars I think should play notable figures in NFL history should their careers be lucky enough to be greenlit for a Hollywood film.
Peyton Manning, played by Meryl Streep. What’s she, like, two for sixteen when it comes to Hollywood’s biggest prize? Sounds like Peyton in the playoffs.
Joe Montana, played by Johnny Depp. Talented, sure, but many wonder what Johnny would be without an even more talented director in Tim Burton (Bill Walsh) to carry him through much of his career.
Drew Brees, played by Colin Ferrell. Both are currently enjoying the 13th of their 15 minutes of fame.
Dan Marino played by Susan Lucci. Minus 1999, the year that she actually won something.
Chad Ochocinco, played by Jaime Foxx. As entertaining as they are funny and talented, but after a while they kind of grate on ya don’t they?
Aaron Rodgers, played by Mickey Rourke. Because like Mickey Rourke, A-Rod’s skeleton is composed of circuitry and wires. This gives credence to the fact that both are more awesome than inhumanly possible! Plus I went to high school with Mickey Rourke, too.
Steve Young played by Eric Roberts. Perhaps the greatest B actor the world has ever known.
Terrell Owens, played by Kanye West as the designated rapper trying to act. Like TO, after blowing his top one too many times Kanye West currently resides in parts unknown.
Ray Lewis would be played by Robert Blake. Yeah, I said it.
Ben Roethlisberger [Removed by Roethlisberger's Attorneys, settled out of court]
Bill Belichick, played by Russell Crowe. So great he almost makes you forget about how much of a pr*ck he really is.
Troy Aikman played by Rob Schneider. See Joe Montana, but without the talent part.
Brett Favre, played by Clint Eastwood. Eastwood continues to make Oscar-caliber movies at age 79, while Favre continued to play at a pro-bowl caliber level at age 79. Plus, it was rumored that during Favre Watch season a year ago, while Favre was on a tractor, a reporter came onto his property looking for a story and he growled ‘get off, my lawn.’
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Tags: Green Bay Packers Film, NFL, Robert De Niro Vince Lombardi, Susan Lucci Emmy awards
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[...] many of you may already know, through many veiled (and not so veiled) references in this blog, I am a Green Bay Packers homer. I must say that I’ve been quite [...]