Evenings With Jim: Excessive Kamikaze Shots To The Dome Are Like Chicken Soup For The Oklahoman Soul
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Jim Ross is back at it again, talkin’ all kinds of shit. Let’s keep his Oklahoma ass honest, shall we?
Lots of random thoughts…opinion…shameless plugs…and pet peeves ‘o the day….
You’re kidding, Jim.
Read a sensationalistic statement by Jesse “Call Him The Governor” Ventura
Sensationalistic passed the spell check in both WordPress AND Microsoft Word so, fuck it, it MUST be a word.
[Jesse] said that Hogan made more money than the entire card at WM3 which is either another embellished statement from the author and host of “Conspiracy Theories” or the old documents that I have, have been “swerve worthy” for years.
Do those documents have the attendance figures on them? Were they given to you by Vince McMahon? Because if those attendance numbers say 93,173, then those documents you hold in your hands are about as legit as the results of a Batista drug test (allegedly).
My guess is that the former is true rather than the accounting info that I read. 
[Incoming Text from Jesse Ventura] “SOO YOUR’E CAAHLLIN ME A LIAR, ROSS?!! LEMME TELL YOOO SOMETHIN, ROSS! WHEN YOUR FAT ASS WAS WEARIN A TOHGA AT WRESTLEMANIA 9, I WAS SKULLFUCKING THE ENTIRE CITY OF MINNESOOHTA. SO MUCH SO, AND WITH SOH MUCH SKULLFUCKING SEXUAL PROWESS, THAT THEY ASKED ME FOR AN EHNCORE. AS GOHVERNOR. BEFORE THAT, I SKULLFUCKED THE PREDATOR BUT THAT SCENE WAS DELETED BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR WAS IN ON SOME SORT OF CONSPIRACY AGAINST ME THAT I HAVE YET TO FIGURE OUT BECAUSE MY SHOOH GAT CANCELLED. YOOOU WANNA PIECAME FATBOY? DIDN’T THINK SOOH.
Plus, it’s discretionary income that is distributed any way so…what the hell? Just let it go. There were lots of great bouts at WM3 of which one can argue but the story was the event was one match, Hogan vs. Andre. End of story.
Can you imagine Jesse Ventura fighting with Hulk Hogan for his share of the Wrestlemania pay day?
“CAMAAAAAN HOOOHHGAN, LEAVE SOME GREENBYACKS FOR THE MIDCYARDERS!!”
An emailer asked me to speak of some of my favorite WCW/Atlanta memories.
Anything with Glacier.
There are many actually even though my tenure there was somewhat abruptly ended and under dubious circumstances.
Dubious, of course, being Oklahoman for ERIC BISCHOFF BEING A COCKSUCKING PRICK!
Leaving WCW was the best thing for my career as it has worked out which proves that one making a change of business addresses isn’t always a bad thing. Certainly seeing Ricky Steamboat return to relevancy in WCW in the late 80′s was a really cool. Getting Terry Funk to become a regular on WCW/Atlanta was also a real thrill for me.
In a feat of shear magnificence, Jim Ross used the words Terry Funk and thrill in the same sentence. In the time it took Ross to coordinate those improbable words in close proximity with one another, Terry Funk retired twice.
Facilitating Cactus Jack and Vader both getting positive exposure on national, cable TV was a plus. Ric Flair defending the NWA Title was a joy to see and Flair’s matches with Sting, Steamboat, and Terry Funk, among many others, were memorable. Hanging with the Horsemen after hours was awesome but I likely left a year or two of my life in a few establishments over that period of time.
Ross, you drunken party animal, you. Ric Flair wants to see you dance, for old times sake. I know Flair is in TNA so you don’t have to take orders from him anymore, but Triple H is a (on-camera) Ric Flair mark, and he wants to see you dance. AND WHEN TRIPLE H SAYS DANCE, SO HELP YOU JIM ROSS YOU DANCE!!!!
Ric Flair ordering 117 Kamikaze’s at one time was something one doesn’t experience every night. Plus, living in Atlanta was awesome and it’s still one of my favorite cities.
Those 117 Kamikaze’s explain this promo by Flair.
Not your best work, Ric.
I will also say that being on the WCW booking committee was not a highlight of those years. All the in-fighting, multiple, covert agendas, politics, paranoia, and the fact that active wrestlers were on he committee making crucial, creative decisions was a flawed system that was bound to fail from the get go.
Ross isn’t kidding about this one. He currently has programs from old Flair WCW shows from Atlanta on his website and below is one of them. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but it seems that this one had Ric Flair’s fingerprints all over it.
**WCW WRESTLING SUPERCARD**
*CURTAIN JERKER* Magnum T.A. jobs to Olie Anderson in :15
(Four Horsemen Promo)
*WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP* Barry Windham over Ricky Morton in 1:36
(Ric Flair Promo)
*WCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP* Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard over The Midnight Express in 2:49
(Ric Flair Promo)
*LOSER BUYS FLAIR KAMIKAZE SHOTS FOR A MONTH* Vader over Cactus Jack in :07
(Ric Flair Promo)
*INTERMISSION* (Kamikaze break, compliments of Cactus Jack. Flair gets hammered and cuts a promo)
*MAIN EVENT* Ric Flair over Sting in 61:37 as Dave Meltzer has wet dream material for the next 25 years.
Can we please stop receiving emails about TV ratings on wrestling shows IE PG, TV14, etc?
Come on, Dirtsheet readers, you’re starting to tick Jim Ross off. Ross doesn’t want to hear about your stinking complaints about flipping PG TV. If you don’t like PG TV, well then you can just sit on it because Jim Ross will NOT stand for any of your baloney complaints gosh darnet.
Personally, I don’t care what a rating is for a show as long as I enjoy the program that I’m watching. I’m not going to watch a TV 14 show with my granddaughters or with the children of my friends for the record.
What? Why?! You don’t want to show members of your family what your boss was like in his prime?
If I have this burning desire to see blood then I can easily watch MMA if I choose. BTW I do watch a great deal of MMA on TV. I don’t care to see nor will I condone chair shots to another’s skull so if that is a TV14 criteria then I’m out.
You sound ‘out’ with your implicit anti-ECW sentiments, Ross. Paul Heyman would be disgusted with you.
That’s overtly dumb in the heightened era of concussions. Chair shots are like run on’s in that we see so many of them that they end up meaning next to nothing because they are not special any longer.
Balls Mahoney made a career out of delivering those meaningless chair shots. Are you saying that Balls Mahoney is not a future Hall of Famer? (Keep in mind that Koko B. Ware and Vince’s fathers’ limo driver are in the Hall of Fame)
Other emailers have asked me if I thought Bret Hart would be “100% by Wrestlemania?” The man had a major stroke and still has lingering issues from that issue that aren’t going away any time soon and likely forever.
All that means is that McMahon now has something sensitive about the opposition that he’s likely going to publicly mock for shock value.
It is a testament to Bret’s desire and strong mindset to even be stepping in a wrestling ring at 52 years of age and being a stroke survivor. So, no Bret Hart will not be 100% physically at WM26, yes, it makes him vulnerable and, yes, his mindset to compete and perform at a high level has never been better from what I can see and after talking to him. I think WM26 is special for many, many reasons and seeing Bret “Hitman” Hart in the ring, likely for the last time in this particular presentation, is one of them.
There was once a time when I thought I had seen Flair in the ring for the last time. When I was in third grade.
We have commenced to deleting long, negative rants regarding wrestling creative just so you will know in case you never see some emails addressed on the Q&A pages. “Succinct” is the key term to utilize when emailing us and when you start an email off with, “I have ___ questions for you” they are likely to bite the dust.
Seriously, people, Jim Ross’ granddaughter reads this stuff.
Just to read and print rants that offer no plausible solutions and simply want to point out what some folks don’t like would be akin to taking a long car trip with an ex or listening to Arianna Huffington read a long book. Ain’t gonna happen.
For those of you who don’t know who Arianna Huffington is, she doesn’t resonate with me either. So you’re not alone.
For some reason, we are getting lots of emails about the Atlanta Wrestlemania event for 2011. I don’t even have travel plans made for this Wrestlemania much less do I know what I think will headline in 2011 or who will be inducted into the WWE HOF there.
I heard Lex Luger was going to be one of them. Who is going to want to induct him if Sting is still in TNA by then?
“Not I,” said [insert relevant name in pro wrestling]
The reviews that I have read from “experts” re: “Damage” which is the new film starring Steve Austin and out on DVD on March 23 have been positive and seem to be falling in the 7 out of 10 range.
Those are only the scores for the the reviews that you care to remember.
I think Steve is heading to Bristol, Tennessee for a NASCAR event soon. NASCAR is “hot shotting their brand” (much like wrestling has done over the years) and Carl Edwards has become an unlikely antagonist to some fans for intentionally wrecking a driver last week in Atlanta.
If Carl Edwards is the antagonist, would that make the no-name driver that you just mentioned, without calling him by his name, the protagonist?
I thought old school, NASCAR racing was about being edgy, attitudinal, and fostering individual characters. No driver is going to go out of his way to maim another but wrecks are part of car racing. Then if it gets too heavy, take it to the garage and settle it like men. Redneck, NASCAR fans like aggression and to see personal issues fostered.
That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! Let’s see some redneck drivers throw some hands!!
Actually, maybe it’s best to stick to flipping cars without the ensuing fist fight.
I expect Stone Cold to “pop a TV rating” on Raw this week on a show that will emanate from San Diego. Some big time bouts are scheduled.
RAW: 3.7, iMPACT! 1.2
BTW…I enjoy Showtime’s Inside NASCAR but Michael Waltrip doesn’t fit my image of what a NASCAR driver should sound like. What’s up with that??
Jim Ross just called Michael Waltrip a queer, not me.
Condolences go out to the family of the late Sandy Scott who passed away early this morning of pancreatic cancer. Sandy and his brother George were a superbly smooth tag team who grew up in the Hamilton, Ontario, Canada area and were fixtures inside the ring for many, many years. Sandy, who many of his friends called “Angus,” was a genuinely nice man who was so easy to respect and to want to be around. While so many ex-wrestlers from Sandy’s generation, and after, are bitter about their careers, about not saving their money or preparing for their future, Sandy was a joy to be around and he rarely had a cross or negative word to say about any one. Like pro sports and other forms of entertainment, pro wrestling is wrought with paranoia and insecurities but through it all the men and women who rise about the minutia stand out. Sandy Scott stood out as a wonderful gentleman and a true credit to the business of which he devoted his life. I will never forget how friendly and professional Sandy was to me when I first went to work for Jim Crockett Promotions and that fact alone put Sandy on a short albeit unforgettable list. Thanks, Sandy. Rest in peace.
Agreed.
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Tags: Jim Ross, Jrsbarbq.com, Ross is Wasted! (Clap Clap Clap-clap-clap), The Gorilla Press Pro Wrestling Blog, WWE News
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