Evenings with Jim: Jim Ross, Like Shawn Michaels, is NOT Retired!

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Wrestling News | 4 Comments

Jim Ross proved his worth to the broadcast team this past weekend at Wrestlemania where the three stooge setup, lead by Michael Cole but not to be outdone by Matt Stryker, shitted all over the airwaves with their mouths.  JR is all fired up in the aftermath of a Wrestlemania that has raised questions about his future, so letterrip Ross.

JR is NOT retiring. It’s tempting and financially doable but I want to work a few more years in a role that is fun and not as laden with stress as some of my previous assignments have been.

Here’s the thing, Jim:  If you put a pair of headsets on, you’re going to hear McMahon screaming in your ear.  You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

No I am not ‘vanishing.’ Life is so good here in Norman and I have a tremendous amount of things to look forward to although I know that I have not broadcast my last event. One doesn’t do something for over 35 years and stop cold turkey or at least I don’t.

And this is correct.  However when it comes to the WWE, nobody really quits cold turkey.  They get smothered with a fucking pillow and have their God damned hearts ripped out of their chest for overstaying their welcome.  The remainders are then shipped to TNA.  Right Ken?

There are no issues or problems with my negotiations with WWE.

The ball is in WWE’s court to put together a new role for me within the company.

I remember legendary figures in pro wrestling who let The WWE ‘inbound’ their careers.  Their names were Hoss Funk, ‘Polka Dot’ Dusty Rhodes, The Gobbledy Gooker…

Essentially they have decided to reassign me from weekly broadcasting and that includes the monthly PPV’s to focus on other areas of the company. I am guessing, and I stress guessing, that may be some form of scouting and/or talent development. I might be wrong on that assumption but I’ll know before the end of April as that is when my current extension expires.

Somewhere in Stamford, Conn, Vince McMahon might be reading this thinking to himself “Oooooooooh, this is gonna be awkward…”

Common sense would dictate that if I like the new position, its travel schedule and how much money that I will earn that it would be a no brainer to sign a multi year deal and move on with the company that I have been with since 1993.

However, glowing pessimism will dictate that if you’re willing to settle for whatever the WWE throws on your plate, they will shackle you at the ankles and play keep away from TNA like a child who doesn’t want to give away an old toy despite the fact that he hasn’t played with it in months.

Will I be involved in the WWE TV network that is allegedly going to launch sometime in the summer or fall of 2011? I don’t know but one would simply assume that might be a possibility.

If they’re smart, they’ll launch JR is RAW as the flagship! (We had to do it again).

Will I ever write a book? Yes, without question. I have maintained copious notes for decades and my career covers a variety of jobs and roles working for some very unique individuals within American pop culture. I am told by people helping me with a potential book deal that we have several publishers interested and that we will likely be speaking with all of them next week. I want any book that I write to be honest, fair, entertaining and hard hitting. Actually, I feel that I have enough material for two books depending on how the first one is structured.

I can’t wait to purchase both of those books and play ‘find the catch phrase’.

Is it true that I am looking into the possibility of becoming affiliated with a major public speaking booking company as a talent? Yes, but we are in the infancy of our talks. I’ve long desired to speak to groups when my schedule would allow such.

There’s tooting your own horn, there’s leading your own ensemble, and then there’s assembling a whole fucking orchestra to play all your hits.  Ross is teetering on the latter.

Who would I bring back to WWE in a fantasy booking scenario if I could book one man to come in and wrestle one major match say against the Undertaker next year in Atlanta at WM27? The emailer said it had to be someone that had not been back since leaving WWE. I would suggest that Brock Lesnar vs. the Undertaker at WM27 would be massive….and also impossible to book.

If that’s not a direct shot at Brock Lesnar’s ego, well then I don’t know what is!  Imagine that scenario, if you will:

Ross:  Okay Brock, The Undertaker is undefeated at Wrestlemania…

Brock:  Soh.

Ross:  So he’s going to have to go over, but we’re gonna think of a way to do it so that you still look strong…

Brock:  Noh, I want the victory or I goh byack to the fyarm.

Ross:  Okay, Brock, let’s not be stupid.  Mania is tomorrow.

Brock:  Soh.

Ross:  So we don’t need you walking out on a big money match 24 hours before the event.

Brock:  Is thyat all youh cyare aboot is money?!  I doon’t need the money!  All these sponsors and advertisers can suck it!  Especially Bud Light!

Ross:  Let’s not get foolish here, Brock.  It’s The Undertaker’s streak that we’re talking about!

Brock:  Sooh…

Yes…as I have written here before Chris Jericho would obviously make a great TV commentator if he ever decided to go that way. Doing commentary in WWE is not an easy way to earn a living and is a demanding job so one has to have the right mindset and/or financial need to endure it at times.

One also needs to be willing and able to repeat taglines at will, use buzz words, frost your tips, restore them back to their natural hair color, grow a goatee, shave it, and flash a goofy smile everytime one is on camera.

The UK Sun, I was told and if I am wrong I apologize, reported that my health was bad and that was why I was left off the Wrestlemania 26 announce team. That is wrong. My health is better than is has been in at least a decade. I simply was passed over for the gig just like several wrestlers who did not have much more than a cup of coffee, if that, at WM26.

*Cough* Shelton! *Cough* MVP!

It isn’t everyone’s ‘right’ to perform at Wrestlemania including mine. Those opportunities are earned or at least that’s how it should be and should be for the betterment of the overall show.

The betterment of the show?  Did you hear that broadcast?!  Let’s put it this way, Stubhub could have charged me my left ball to go to Wrestlemania, and I would have felt I was paying a fair price as long as I enjoyed the perks of a Cole-less Wrestlemania.

Do I think that I could have added a little something to the presentation this past Sunday? Oh, hell yeah. Again, if I inadvertently called out the UK Sun, I apologize. (It’s late.)

No, screw that, Ross I bet it was The Sun!  Buncha lousy, stinkin’ Brits!  (But if it wasn’t, I apologize, too).

The ‘secret ingredient’ in our amazing chili at JR’s in Norman is our Chipotle Ketchup which you can add to your favorite recipe or even your favorite canned chili. Season to taste. I would also suggest that you add sweet onions to the canned chili or your personal fav recipe if onions are not usually included. I even grill hot dogs and then cut them up into bite size pieces and dumb them into the simmering chili. It becomes bread-less hot dogs.

Don’t give McMahon any ideas, Ross.  Keep talking up your barbecuing acumen and you will be on camera, outside of every arena the WWE visits, playing with you meat.

Yes, I am a huge fan of MMA and have taken a heightened interest in the genre the past few months. Many present day MMA fans are displaced pro wrestling fans who are familiar with my work and some have followed my broadcasting career for decades. Where that may or may not take me is anyone’s guess.

*COUGH* Strikeforce!

No…I have no interest in becoming Jack Swagger’s traveling, ringside manager.

But that worked out so well for Dr. Death when he got the rub from you, may god rest his soul.

The young Oklahoman is doing just fine without me. I helped him get his foot in the door w/ WWE and he’s done the rest quite well and with out me although we do have the occasional chat under the old learning tree. (Thanks, Ernie Ladd.)

Cue up the orchestra…

Yes….I do think that Randy Orton will evolve into a magnificent fan favorite especially if he is not force fed on commentary abut how RKO has had a ‘change of heart’ or ‘turned over a new leaf’ type verbiage. The audience should be the ones that declare what Randy Orton is or isn’t. Orton is money nonetheless.

I wanna see Randy Orton make the save for Hornswoggle as he is about to be swallowed whole by Kane. Then, and only then, will I accept him as a true babyface.

Yes…I do think that Sam Bradford, who has enjoyed plenty of JR’s BBQ in Norman, will be the #1 pick of the NFL Draft by the ST. Louis Rams and will immediately become a very wealthy young man. I would be willing to sell Sam our BBQ joint as “Sam’s BBQ” has a nice ring to it don’t you think? Sam Bradford is the second coming of Peyton Manning from where I sit.

Quick question, who is asking you these questions, Ross? I’m the one who is responding here. I know you lost your job and everything but that does not mean you can have mine. But, yes, I completely agree. Sam Bradford…and BBQ…and such.

Yes….without question my goal to someday broadcast OU Football and Basketball are still as strong today as they were 50 years ago when I listened to the Sooners on radio every opportunity that I got as a young lad.

They fire people for speaking too harshly about the home teams so you would be perfect for this. Just show them samples of your XFL broadcasts and you’ll be set to go.

All these responses were generated by questions from fans and were either answered or deleted from our popular Q&A section. Check them out today.

So now Ross is trying to make me look like an asshole. Generate deez nuts, Jim.

Be well and Boomer Sooner!

J.R.

PS I’m very proud of the OU Women Basketball team who made the Final Four and play Stanford this Sunday in San Antonio. I would love to attend and take HBK with me.

He needs something to do until making his imminent return by Wrestlemania 27. Because you can bet your barbecue sauce that it is going to happen.

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