NBA Playoffs: Don’t Call it a Preview
__________________________________________________________________________
The other day, I was asked what I thought would happen in the playoffs. I told the inquirer to mind his fucking business. Then I ran to big-nasty.com to tell people what I thought would happen in the playoffs.
East
First Round
Cavs over Bulls in 4. The annual ‘false-confidence’ round for Lebron & crew.
Magic over Bobcats in 4. To which Michael Jordan will compare his career to Dwight Howard after the game 4 press conference. This, of course, will be after he decides to return to the court in hopes of saving Charlotte from an 0-3 hole.
Hawks over Bucks in 6. Because I’m a Milwaukee Bucks fan and you’re not going to do shit about it.
Celtics over Heat in 5. Dwayne Wade will be visiting New York, Los Angeles, Cleveland, Orlando, and Phoenix in between games. His mind won’t be right.
Second Round
Cavs over Celtics in 6. The annual ‘hey, we could actually do this’ round for Lebron and crew.
Magic over Hawks in 6. Be honest, did you even remember the Hawks made it to the playoffs? Even as a #3 seed?
Conference Finals
Magic over Cavs in 7. The annual ‘Oh that’s right, we’re from Cleveland’ round for Lebron & crew.
West
First Round
Lakers over Thunder in 5. Keep in mind, I think The Lakers lose game 1.
Nuggets over Jazz in 7. Watch as the announcers do their best to make you believe that they give, not one, but 2 shits.
Suns over Trailblazers in 6. The Blazers are gritty, but the Suns have their best player.
Mavs over Spurs in 7. The playoffs don’t start until Mark Cuban blows up a ref. Consider some point in this series the opening ceremonies.
Second Round
Lakers over Nuggets in 7. Over/Under technical fouls in this series: 7.5.
Mavs over Suns in 6. Mark Cuban will spend this round coming up with some real zingers for those Laker-partisan refs. They’ll never see some of these comin’!
Lakers over Mavs in 6. Yeah I’m riding with the chalk for the most part. It’s the NBA. What the hell do you expect?
NBA Finals
Magic over Lakers in 5. Revenge is a dish best served on Dwight’s balls and in that prick Kobe puppet’s mouth.
