The Gorilla Press: The WWE’s Got Swagger!
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Sunday, April 4, 2010
THE SHEET
Chris Kanyon dead at 40 from apparent drug overdose [LA Times]
Chris Daniels released by TNA [Baltimore Sun]
Gene Kiniski battling for his life [Jrsbarbq.com]
JR updates his status with The WWE [Jrsbarbq.com]
GORILLA CLIP OF THE WEEK
Watch as the Swagger era/experiment begins. This event created shockwaves around the Internet Wrestling Community before it even aired as the ‘Major Spoiler Alerts’ put the world on notice that Jack swagger was to become champion.
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SHOWSTOPPER
RAW
Stone Cold Randy Orton. In case you haven’t noticed, Randy Orton is now a babyface. In the fallout from Wrestlemania, it has become quite apparent that Orton isn’t just a babyface, but THE Babyface in The WWE. The rockstar reception Orton received while teaming with John Cena this past Monday created an interesting dynamic between The Viper and the consummate babyface WWE Champion in John Cena. Randy Orton’s fan-driven turn has sparked memories of another major babyface turn that was out of The WWE’s control and that was of one Stone Cold Steve Austin. Why, just look at the similarities:
Snake-like Nickmane (The Viper), check.
Black Trunks, Black Boots, check.
Neckbreaking finisher that can come out of nowhere (RKO), check.
Angry disposition, check!
Ladies and gentlemen, your new antihero has arrived.
Shawn Michaels has left the building…for now. Pardon me for being skeptical about the fact that we have seen the last of Shawn Michaels, but it’s one of those ‘Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me 227 times…’ things. Didn’t Ric Flair retire? Didn’t Terry Funk retire? (again) Even Goldberg professed that he didn’t want to hang around too long a la Hogan and Flair just weeks before his name resurfaced as he is now in talks with The WWE for a possible return. After what was a pretty touching retirement speech this past Monday on RAW, I’m sure Shawn Michaels believes he is done with wrestling right now as he continues to feel the wear and tear of the pro wrestling lifestyle. But give this thing several months when Michaels has had time to heal, figures out that helping his children with simple arithmetic and bible study isn’t as fulfilling as once thought, and turns on an episode of RAW only to see a stadium filled with screaming fans who once chanted his name on command. If Shawn Michaels’ name isn’t displayed in lights as an active wrestler come Wrestlemania season next year then, and only then, will I begin to believe that maybe we have seen Michaels’ last match in a ring. But I’m not going to hold my breath.
WWE NXT
So that’s how it works! This was by far the best episode of WWE NXT since the season started, and now that the rules have finally been explained, the show has promise for the first time since it began. With the stipulation of the winner getting a shot at any champion they want at a pay per view, the built-in feud between The Mix and Daniel Bryan should only continue to get hotter with Bryan currently ranked #1 and the odds on favorite to win. David Otunga being highlighted at the end of the show with a quick battle royal victory made sense as he is now slated to guest host RAW as a result. Although Darren Young is ranked #8, this just seems to be a reason to add more fuel to the fire of a mismatched pairing between Young and CM Punk. We hope. It will be interesting to see who will be getting the boot (and in what order) on a week-to-week basis as this is one of the few parts of the show that will be pretty real. But The WWE does deserve applause for finally getting this show on track.
IMPACT
Does Pope still have that title shot you guys made such a big deal about? TNA has developed quite an overly ambitious booking pattern. For two months now, TNA has leapfrogged their #1 contenders at the expense of a sold build towards their pay per views. Last month, Pope’s courageous 8-card stud tournament win overshadowed Abyss’ #1 contendership for A.J. Styles’ Heavyweight Championship. (It’s worth noting that Abyss was also part of that 8-card stud tournament, in a losing effort, before being named #1 contender) Now that TNA has had time to properly build up to what should be a very good match between A.J. Style and The Pope at Lockdown, they have decided to bypass that build in order to focus on the current Bischoff/Jarrett/Hogan storyline that is unnecessary and has not garnered the ratings that they desire. I have a bad feeling that TNA is going to pull another ‘Destination X’ as they will realize they have a pay per view to promote just one week before it takes place, and we will be seeing one of those too little/too late go home shows.
Anderson/Angle officially goes south. The only rivalry in TNA that had somewhat of a promise in terms of complete booking has been booked right into the ground. After Kennedy got his comeuppance way too early back on March 8th, we now get to see a ladder match before a cage match that will take place at the next pay per view. But don’t worry, this ties into the storyline as there will be a key to the cage hanging in the distance as part of the ladder match. What?
For an angle that could have made so much sense with a ‘less equals more approach’, hit has become quite difficult to follow these two around the Impact Zone. Blood, impersonations, ladder matches, cage matches, the heel getting the moral victory after a ref bump, sub par matches…I’m at my wits end with the only angle that held my interest since the Hogan/Bischoff era began. I’m just waiting for the first blood match the night after the pay per view.
Orlando Jordan is still bisexual. Whoever told The TNA powers that be that we, the consumers, care about Orlando Jordan lied. From the moment this irrelevant figure in pro wrestling lure hit the scene, he was met with complete indifference. And why not? The man did next to nothing in The WWE despite being paired with that company’s WWE Champion for months, and in the alphamale world of pro wrestling he was unceremoniously released after questionable pictures of Jordan and a male counterpart surfaced. I have no problem with TNA running with the real life storyline of Orlando Jordan’s bisexuality, but there are better ways of introducing him to the public than literally dropping him into the silent confines of The Impact Zone. Perhaps a risque’ vignette or two? Easing us into the fact that we will be seeing such a strange fellow wouldn’t be too far of a stretch. After all, if you’re going to rip off Goldust, you’re going to want to rip off what worked.
SMACKDOWN
The WWE’s Got Swagger! Smackdown will be the perfect place for Jack Swagger to spread his wings as World Champion. Friday Night’s have become the fertile grounds for creating stars that the Cena/HHH/Guest-hosting-infested waters of RAW just isn’t. Swagger will get a nice rub from Jericho and Edge in their ensuing feud, sparked by Swagger cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase, and if he doesn’t learn a thing or two about in-ring work from those two (which he will) then he’s a s good as doomed. The lisp still bothers me, but Swagger’s promos on Smackdown were much better than the forced, unconvincing ‘odds on favorite’ nonsense he was spewing just four nights before. 
Cryme Time Splits, now I really feel robbed. Anybody who watched Wrestlemania live, and saw the dark match battle royal where Shad Gaspar eliminated JTG, should have seen a Cryme Time split coming. However for the rest of the millions of fans across the proverbial WWE Universe, this came out of nowhere and was quite irrelevant as Cryme Time has largely underachieved as a tag team. With The WWE Draft coming up, The WWE looks to have plans for one of these superstars’ singles career (I’d guess Gaspard), however the sudden split was irrelevant and unnecessary.
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TIP THE HOST
The Hot Tub Time Machine guys knew nothing about the product like many guest hosts before them. It’s good that they were used sparingly, however the inclusion of Hornswoggle hurt their Q-rating. We leave both men with a $4 tip.
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THE SHOOT
At the beginning of each month, we will be assessing the stock value of various WWE/TNA wrestlers. In pro wrestling, like the stock market, one’s stock is always rising and sinking at unpredictable rates. So it’s only fair for the financial wizards at Big Nasty Investments to analyze the values of key players in the wrestling industry.
Rising Stocks
Jack Swagger. This one’s a no-brainer. In less than one week, Jack Swagger has come out of nowhere to not only win The Money in the Bank match, but cash in the briefcase in the shortest period of time since the concept was developed (5 days). Swagger’s stock is much like a penny-stock that exploded overnight. The personification of a great value stock.
Shad Gaspar. This hasn’t been set in stone yet, but just trust us on this one. Gaspar is a big guy and, if pushed properly, can be heavyweight championship material. The fact that Gaspar was the dominant figure in The Cryme Time split just weeks before the draft tells me that The WWE may have big plans for the soon-to-be-tights-donning superstar. Consider this a hot stock tip.
Randy Orton. Orton’s stock has been on the rise for months now, but he is the next big thing in terms of top babyfaces. Orton’s ‘back by popular demand’ face turn has become so hot that it may even result in *gasp!* a John Cena heel turn. Stay tuned.
Daniel Bryan. Although he is not on the active roster yet, being announced the #1 rookie despite having an 0-4 record is The WWE’s twisted way of saying ‘We like ya, kid, but don’t get too full of yourself.’ A Miz/Daniel Bryan pay per view match weeks down the road will draw good money once The WWE quits dragging its feet with their current feud.
The Hart Dynasty. After all that complaining of Bret Hart being kept apart from his relatives in the Hart Dynasty, The WWE seems to be interested in giving The Hart Dynasty a nice little Bret Hart rub before Bret returns to the dungeon.
Falling Stocks
Drew McIntyre. The WWE shouldn’t be at all surprised that McIntyre has yet to get over as a true heel. McIntyre was shoved down our throats and expected to thrive naturally, and that just hasn’t happened. Now that McIntyre’s undefeated streak has ended multiple times and he was barely featured in a Money in the Bank match that he was favored to win, it seems as if McIntyre will spend the next couple of months getting his jets cooled off before the creative team finds something viable for him. Hey, it worked for Swagger didn’t it?
Anybody else involved in The Money in the Bank Ladder Match not named Jack Swagger. The MITB match at this year’s Wrestlemania was the worst of the six matches that have taken place annually. With no big shot from Shelton (who was barely featured) and multiple botched spots, it seemed that even the superstars who were supposed to look good in losing efforts (Kofi, Evan Bourne) screwed up. With the exception of Christian, none of the RAW MITB superstars even appeared on RAW the next night. Christan’s much needed win over Ted DiBiase this past Monday helped his cause, but this means nothing as it looked to be a foil for a big time Ted DiBiase heel run. We may look back at The Wrestlemania 26 MITB match and refer to it as The Career Rehab Spectacular, but let’s just hope that all careers involved were somehow salvaged in the aftermath.
The Pope. After being put over like none other at Against All Odds, The Pope seems to be regressing into the ‘entertainer’ role in which he started. And it’s not his fault. The moment Pope was booked to win a #1 Contender tournament, he was leapfrogged by Abyss and the silly Hogan Ring Storyline. This past week on Impact, there was no advancement of the Pope/Styles storyline that TNA has had over a month to properly build up, and to make matters worse The Pope jobbed cleanly to Desmond Wolfe. (who has been in limbo since January 4th) The Pope has potential to be one of TNA’s biggest stars, but leave it to Impact to screw up something that was once so hot.
The WWE Divas. With a reduced role during Wrestlemania season, many have even clamored for the division to be done away with entirely. I don’t agree with this (I’ll get to that in The Finisher’s section), however one cannot ignored how poorly this entire division has been treated over the past month or so.
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FINISHERS
We leave you with my take on the WWE Diva’s division.
With the bright lights of The Wrestlemania spotlight, many tend to overreact to the booking going into the big show. One of these overreactions that has caught my eye is the fact that many seem to believe that The Diva’s division should be done away with.
Simmer down now.
Were The Diva’s prominently featured at Wrestlemania? No. Were they booked well leading up to the big card? No. But there will always be a place for women’s wrestling even if they are placed on the backburner from time to time. The WWE Diva’s are a secondary form of entertainment and they do still serve a purpose. Just because a tight end, who is instrumental in getting his team to the Superbowl, is not thrown to during the big game does not mean The NFL should do away with the position.
Always remember that Mickie James was to be prominently featured in a singles program on Wrestlemania before she suffered a staph infection. This put The WWE in a tough spot as they had to shotgun a match that would feature as many Diva’s on camera as possible in order to get them their Wrestlemania payoff.
So let’s not overreact to the poor booking of The Diva’s in the past few weeks. This will all get back on track with formidable Diva storylines to commence at pay per views during the year, and pretty soon we will forget the fact that there was ever talk of getting rid of The WWE Diva’s wrestling division. Besides, these girls are so got damn hot that sometimes it hurts!
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Tags: Jack Swagger Spoiler, Jack Swagger World Champion, The Gorilla Press Pro Wrestling Blog, TNA News, Wrestlemania 26, WWE News
