Sunday, July 18, 2010

The latest in an installment of cash grab gimmick pay-per-views features a total of 16 WWE superstars (8 from RAW and 8 from Smackdown!) competing in respective Money in the Bank ladder matches.  The victor earns a lunchbox with a #1 contender shot at the world title of their respective brand, so if the second season of WWE NXT wraps before either lunchbox is ‘traded’ for a a title shot, we could have as many as four men walking around claiming to be a #1 contender.

And you thought the belts were diluted.

In any event, the Money in the Bank concept has considerable steam behind it, stemming from a history of being featured annually at Wrestlemania.  We just can’t help but think that this would be a far more lucrative and productive concept if only one briefcase was featured as it traditionally is at Wrestlemania.

With so many wrestlers being occupied with the lunchbox spectacular, this leaves a very thin roster to fill out the rest of the card from a wrestling standpoint, so expect filler.  A lot of filler.  Perhaps this pay-per-view will even feature a guest host or two?  Matt Cassel is only one call away.

Sheamus over John Cena. Many pundits believed that the Cena/Sheamus feud was a crafty way for the WWE to get the belt off Cena before it was eventually put back on a returning Triple H.  However, Triple H’s recent surgery has put a damper on those plans for the time being.  Be that as it may, with the Nexus lurking around (you don’t really think they’re going to be scared of an roofless cage, do you?) Cena’s chances of regaining the WWE Championship are diminished.

If Cena is to regain the belt, it would make more sense for such a monumentally repetitive event to occur at Summerslam, just one month from now (although Cena’s world title track record at Summerslam may suggest otherwise.)

Sheamus wins after the Nexus invades the cage with every member performing their finisher on Cena except Michael Tarver.  He’ll just watch and make crazy facial expressions as the (Mc)man keeps him down.

Jack Swagger over Rey Mysterio. The WWE seems to have a problem with making Jack Swagger a legitimate force in their company.  His wins are either punctuated by surprise or dampened by shady tactics.  His losses are clean, straight, and to the point.

Perhaps his athletic background scares them from creating a star who will expand his brand exponentially in MMA down the road like that Brock guy did.

With Rey Mysterio selling an ankle injury leading up to their match, this will be the perfect “excuse” as to why Jack Swagger will go over and, um, regain his World Heavyweight Championship.

Swagger wins after the referee is forced to stop the match while he has the ankle lock in.  That’s right, Mysterio doesn’t even tap.

The Hart Dynasty over the Usos. The Usos went over on RAW, meaning they are bound to get their comeuppance at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view.  Truth be told, this match shouldn’t even be on the card, it’s just a result of the above mentioned depth problem the WWE has with so many of their top to mid tier guys locked up in a Money in the Bank matches.

Alicia Fox over Eve Torres. The WWE is looking for its next black star (after losing him in the couch during his feud with Randy Orton), and if Fox dropped her title that would leave us with only one black champion.  Those would be quite dangerous waters for a company looking for its next black star now wouldn’t it?

Alicia Fox wins with her signature awkward scissor kick to the torso.  Haha, scissor.

Lalya over Kelly Kelly. This two titles thing is kind of neat.  Expect the women to get more time on this card, meaning we can also expect the same guy who bitches about Divas not getting enough time to complain that they can’t work when they do get the time.

RAW Money in the Bank Winner:  The Miz. The Miz has seen a slight transformation in his character from D-bag heel to a sinister villain who we need to take seriously.  The Miz’s recent de-emphasis in the comedy aspect of his routine has told us that he very may go over in this one, especially with Edge acting as somewhat of a red herring.

Edge’s teases of the fun beginning have nothing to do with him winning the Money in the Bank as he and Orton have an in-match conflict leading up to a Summerslam showdown.  This opens the door for Miz who will win what we feel may be the weaker of the two Money in the Bank matches.

Smackdown Money in the Bank Winner:  Cody Rhodes. In what we feel will be the curtain jerker of this pay-per-view, Cody Rhodes will be the shocking choice to reach out and grab the blue lunch box.  Drew McIntyre is the odds on favorite, however we see Rhodes’ vein, cocky heel gimmick going hand in hand with a MITB briefcase.

Expect that monster ladder that debuted this past week on Smackdown, compliments of the Big Show, to come into play for some crazy ass spots.  Christian and Matt Hardy will work hard in this one to no avail, and Kofi Kingston will flip and flop his way into oblivion before the smoke clears for Cody Rhodes to score the shocking win.

Related Stories

• 11/13 -- The Big Nasty Athletic Dept to Cover Pro Wrestling! (0)
• 04/19 -- R-Truth Smokes John Morrison (0)
• 04/13 -- Sin Cara: A Work in Progress (0)
• 04/11 -- WWE: Edge Announces Retirement from WWE, Possibly Until Next Week [UPDATE!] (0)
• 07/04 -- The Gorilla Press: Steamboat Shipwrecked, ECW in TNA, NXT JNX? (0)

Tags: Cody Rhodes Money in the Bank, Do they come with a Thermos?, Gorilla Press Pro Wrestling Blog, The Miz Money in the Bank, Wrestling News, WWE Money in the Bank Preview, WWE RAW, WWE Smackdown!